Humans are social beings, we learn values from our upbringing and external environments. We all know those values are so valuable to become a good human being. “Honesty is the best policy.” We all have heard about this saying. But sometimes people find it difficult to say and live it. Have you ever thought of why it happens? The answer is our belief system and our perception based on that system. Let me explain it to you by an example, “Meena is a sweet girl but little fat and dark-skinned”. Now how would you like to observe her, that is your perception. What are your criteria of beauty, based on whether you can categorize her as beautiful or ugly?
What does being honest mean?
Often people think that being honest means being rude or being straightforward. That’s not a clear and deep understanding of honesty. Honest means being honest to your core, your feelings, and your values.
All these are fixed. Our belief system is a collection of perceived notions, it is flexible, it’s based on the truth which we think is a truth and that may vary with others’ belief systems. From one person’s point of view, ‘Meena is beautiful.’ and from another person’s point of view ‘Meena is ugly.’ Who is right, Who is wrong, Who is honest, Who is dishonest, everything is based on anecdotal data. Having said that, it’s not fixed to define an individual’s measurement of honesty level. Then how one can be truly honest?
The correlation between honesty and emotional intelligence.
Well…Emotional Intelligence solves this puzzle so easily. People who possess high emotional intelligence levels are quite aware of their value system and they keep refining their belief system to maintain those core values. They are self and socially aware. They observe good values in others and communicate beautifully. If you are offered a cup of tea by your child, and the tea is not according to your taste, using a high emotional quotient you will respond in such a way that you will not hide what you feel and you will express it in such a way that your child will receive it positively. Genuine feedback is always important for growth but if language is too dry that is not honesty and hiding truth and giving wrong inputs is also not honesty. Often people think that if they tell the truth in a forward way that is honest but it may hurt others. Being in that fear they prefer to tell lies. Instead of fear, trust and emotionally intelligent behavior uplift our and others’ core values. Exhibiting honesty is linking with the value system, perceiving others’ feelings, managing self-emotions, and expressing emotions meaningfully to motivate self and others. A good belief system develops a beautiful perception about self and others, that teaches us to see beauty everywhere and to communicate for spreading happiness inside-outside. This is how high emotional intelligence helps a person to not only become an honest person but also understand the meaning of being honest. Simply, if a person can’t be honest with himself then how can that person be honest with others? No one is perfect, it’s ok to learn by correcting mistakes but admitting and correcting mistakes itself is honesty. In one-liner “Emotional Intelligence replaces our perceived and inhabited fears with happiness and values.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is an ability to understand self and others’ feelings and emotions and use this ability to manage self-emotions to exhibit good behavior. This ability can be refined and uplifted by coaching. One can be coached by self or can be done in partnership with a professional coach. A typical coaching session may comprehend different techniques of NLP, Emotional Intelligence techniques, hypnosis, etc.