Emotional Intelligence

Managing Children’s Back-To-School Anxiety

Anxiety, Back To School, Emotional Intelligence, Parenting /

Any transition or change can be a bit challenging but can be made a rewarding experience by putting in effective and collective efforts. Its Back-To-School Time ‘Back to school’, this phrase alarms a change or transition in everyone’s mind, that might develop anxiety for children, parents, and teachers. This is normal and manageable by applying emotional intelligence.  Some children may feel anxious about changing their routine, fear of separation from family members or apprehension about a new environment,  fear of being bullied, the pressure of school work submission, the stress of upcoming exams, sadness due to reduction of playtime, or stress of coming out of their comfort zone, etc. 10 Ways Parents Can Help Their Children Overcome Back-To-School Anxiety Regardless of the reason, parents can help ease the acceptance of transition by educating children to handle it in the following ways:  1.  The first and foremost thing is preparing their mindset for a change by opening for discussion to understand and visualize its positive side. 2.  Recognizing symptoms of stress,  anxiety, and fear. If a child shows unusual behavior or makes a complaint about aches in body parts or encounters mood swings etc, these might be symptoms of their emotional unbalancing. 3.  Creating and applying some strategies to work around it. Every emotion can be recognized, understood, and managed, by emotional intelligence. By understanding the intention behind that emotion good strategies can be applied to see the positive side and show better behavior. If required, parents can seek assistance from experts in coaching and counseling.  4.  Simulate the school routine one week before. Getting children acquainted with the upcoming schedule. A visit to the school may be a fun way to familiarize yourself with the place. 5.  Calling and interacting with a few teachers before joining the school motivates a child to be ready for the new term.  6.  Enrolling your child in a training program to learn skills to uplift emotional intelligence levels is a way to bring self/social awareness, and improve communication skills. This helps a child to learn and apply emotional management and communicate with old or new friends. 7.  Coach your child by applying some life coaching tools. As a parent, if you are aware of these skills you can help them manage their anxiety. 8.  Show encouragement and celebrate their wins. This may include writing a note or showing confidence in their courage or you can use your creativity to do it in your own way. Whatever the way, every small act of encouragement becomes empowering for your child.  9.  Before school re-opens, plan a meetup for your child with his/her school friends. Motivation is contagious and there are many things we learn from interacting with our peers.  10.  Seek emotional and mental health support if needed – Although every child/person has resilience power, it is always important to pay attention and to take care of their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. If your child is prone to anxiety and finds difficulty with coping mechanisms then take it on a serious note. Do not hesitate to seek professional help. Experts in this field provide sessions in a very safe and secure environment.

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Reach Out to invite a positive change

Emotional Intelligence, Self Development /

There once a thick jungle caught fire terribly. All of a sudden animals in the place were lingered with a critical situation, all started running by bits and pieces, daunted and disturbed. A tiny bird who was sitting on a tree was looking around and found other birds are injured and thirsty. She barely held some water in her beak and started feeding others. Animals asked her: what will be the residual of her effort, how many lives she will be able to touch, and how well she can provide help to as many. She answered:  ‘’there is nothing more permanent than a temporary situation. I will recall this scene once everything get over and I would be bestowed with satisfaction. Hearing this, other birds and animals got motivated and started placing their effort on the situation. Soon after the fire faded away and things turned normal.  But something was reflected there unusual, that was  CHANGE. A change that taught the importance of putting efforts no matter how small or big it is.’ “Even the strongest blizzards start with a single snowflake”. A change of ‘teamwork makes dreams work. A change of ‘compassion triggers people to adopt a growth mindset. Above one is a famous story and carries a message. When ‘we care’ we reach out to be a help. Kindness is motivational. But what if when we are in need to ask for help? No doubt we all are blessed with all natural resources to get strengthen ourselves but it’s also a fact that sometimes we may find ourselves in situations where we need the courage to reach out and ask for help. That’s the beauty of Independence and Interdependence. Human is a social beings, people bring life to our life. Happiness is contagious. Internal and external happiness multiplies and uplifts its level all around. “Asking for help is a weakness” it is a myth, rather it’s a courageous step to show vulnerability and a willingness to work upon something to evolve. Sometimes people ignore the truth or sometimes they treat a help for granted. In both cases, it may result in chaos. Ignorance or suppression of any emotion is like not addressing and treating emotions nicely. Sometimes people have a lot of hesitation or fear that stops them to go forward and ask. Sometimes they don’t know what to ask and where to ask. There is a safe environment available to talk and work on emotional wellbeing. Today time is changing with the fast development of technologies. What about humans, Are we developing Robots or are we becoming Robots? Are we addressing our emotions and treating them nicely or Are we ignoring or suppressing them? Are we reaching out to ask for help/to be a help or Are we stopping ourselves when emotional wellbeing is needing help? Reach out. It’s worth it, and you’re worth it. Everyone deserves to be happy!!!

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Emotional Intelligence and Communication

Communication, Emotional Intelligence /

What makes a person, place, or thing fascinating…Presence of beautiful core and communication. Everything communicates provided we listen and understand well. The Two Types of Communication We communicate using our senses There are two types of communication internal and external. Reading, hearing, observing, feeling, smelling, tasting, sensing, etc. all are inputs and we express ourselves by writing, hands creativity, and speaking. Our speech has both verbal and non-verbal communication. It consists of sound, expressions, body language, and language power. Scientifically sound is energy. Mainly voice/sound is considered as an active and most powerful way to communicate. It’s voice or speech communication that makes a person a leader, legend, or great personality. Barak Obama, Sudha Krishnamurti, Benjamin Franklin, Sachin Tendulkar, etc are different people from different fields, the common thing is they are masters of communication and great influencers as well. The way they communicate using emotional intelligence leaves an impact.  People don’t remember how do we look, what we wear etc, but they remember what they experience in our core presence and with our verbal and non-verbal communication. A place or thing becomes the most memorable when our heart-mind can communicate with that. Remember your favorite places, and what makes them your favorite. You must connect something that triggers feel good for you. Have you ever thought of why a thing gifted by dear ones become so precious to us? We keep it as the most valuable remembrance and whenever we see it, it communicates to our heart with certain emotions, isn’t it?  That’s the beauty and power of communication. As good the communication will be as good as we feel and sense about it. The quality of our lives It’s communication with self and others that improves the quality of our lives. We all communicate but do not communicate too and sometimes miscommunicate. Sometimes we want to communicate but we do not aware (self and socially), that what and how to communicate is confusing for us.  You must have noticed when we know something, our cognitive brain says ‘aha I know it and we become so confident and comfortable but when we don’t know something it develops a fear of facing the unknown. Imagine attending a party, when you know a few known people will be there,  you feel so confident and comfortable to join that party. On the contrary, if you find yourself in a completely new place and among strangers, then you might be fearful of the discomfort of being there. Communication gets more power when we sense the sense of knowing. It’s the awareness that develops this sense, whether it’s self-awareness or social awareness. The application of Emotional Intelligence brings that awareness to us. People with emotional intelligence find it easier to get confidence and comfort, they know how to face what is unknown or none predicted. It empowers their communication strength. Anyone who wants to improve his/her communication skills for personal and professional growth and success, then it’s a good option for that person to consider learning emotional intelligence skills. Using this skill is like empowering connections between relationships. People can not only improve the quality of their relationships but also find desired growth in workplace and business environments. The best way to learn Emotional intelligence is to do it practically and apply it in real-time situations. For that in one-liner ‘let’s Communicate to communicate with Emotional Intelligence.’

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Emotional Intelligence to get that promotion

Emotional Intelligence /

Deepika is a software engineer by qualification and an enthusiastic professional by heart. She joins a company as a Sr. Software engineer. Just two months after her joining, she gets promoted to the project leader role. She is praised for her sincerity and leadership qualities, her seniors see her as ‘the person of successful delegation of work’ that made her eligible to get that promotion. What makes an individual stand out from their colleagues? Apart from the all basic requirements of technical skills, what makes a person stand out from others? That is – how successfully you can delegate your work so that it can be a help for others to contribute and perform their role efficiently. In every organisation, at each level, everyone is accountable and responsible to do their role-specific duties, everyone likes people in their team who help them to delegate their tasks timely and efficiently. Delegation at different levels Considering three levels of working – entry, middle, top. At each level ‘successful delegation of work based on the role’ makes a person get a promotion.  At the entry level, a person needs to be very clear about the core of the work and system nature. To gel with the organisation’s culture and do the systematic processing of modules considering all detailed analyses are the main objectives at this level. At the middle level, a person needs a good understanding to get the work done efficiently by others. Understanding people’s strengths, inducing effective communication, intelligent assignment of work and enthralling the momentum of motivation are the main traits to efficiently manage work at this level. At a high level, a person needs a deep understanding of problem-solving strategies to handle the unpredictable and decision-making strategies to handle the quickness and risk of decisions in inadequate data. Responsibilities and work nature of all levels may be different but the motto is the same ‘successful delegation of work based on the role’. A delegation is successful when it is timely, helpful, qualitative and quantitative. Whatever level you hold, if you can exhibit yourself as a successful delegate through your work and communication, indeed it makes you the most eligible person to get that promotion among your competitors. Now, how Emotional Intelligence can help you in the whole context? After reading till now you may more curious, and you may want to be more clear about yourself to be nearer to your promotion. If you find this interesting and important for you to know more about it then keep reading. Before telling about the connection between emotional intelligence and promotion, First, let me tell you about Emotional Intelligence. If you haven’t heard about this term before, never mind, it’s not too late, every time is a good time to know about something good.  Delegation and Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, accept and understand our and others’ emotions and use this ability to manage our behaviour. We all are born with a certain level of this ability. The good news is that this ability is learnable to level up at any point in time life. Emotional intelligence skill is bundled with many tools and techniques, using which one can level up his/her emotional intelligence level. Training a mind to learn and apply this skill makes it happen in easy steps. As high the level of emotional intelligence as high the probability of being a successful delegate of your work as per your role. It makes you an efficient and successful role player eligible to level up for the next roles in the pipeline. To be a successful delegate of your work what do you need?  – resources and capability. That you already have. Of course, you match with all basic technical qualifications and experience to get the work done then what else is required – simple, A managed behaviour by meaning emotional state to empower self and others. That’s the main outcome of applying Emotional Intelligence skills. Emotional Intelligent behaviour is deeply based on understanding people’s feelings, thinking and communication. It makes your understanding an emotional intelligent understanding of self and the external world. As you get more understanding, you become more clear about yourself and others. That helps you to understand yourself, your work nature, other people’s behaviour and the external environment. This understanding develops leadership skills, communication skills, people skills, problem-solving and decision-making skills to result in a successful delegate of work. Then formal promotion just becomes the side product, you mainly find yourself living a successful life at your core values to experience the ultimate joy in your life.

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With High EQ Happily Say “Honesty is the best policy”

Emotional Intelligence /

Humans are social beings, we learn values from our upbringing and external environments. We all know those values are so valuable to become a good human being. “Honesty is the best policy.” We all have heard about this saying. But sometimes people find it difficult to say and live it. Have you ever thought of why it happens? The answer is our belief system and our perception based on that system. Let me explain it to you by an example, “Meena is a sweet girl but little fat and dark-skinned”. Now how would you like to observe her, that is your perception. What are your criteria of beauty, based on whether you can categorize her as beautiful or ugly? What does being honest mean? Often people think that being honest means being rude or being straightforward. That’s not a clear and deep understanding of honesty. Honest means being honest to your core, your feelings, and your values. All these are fixed. Our belief system is a collection of perceived notions, it is flexible, it’s based on the truth which we think is a truth and that may vary with others’ belief systems. From one person’s point of view, ‘Meena is beautiful.’ and from another person’s point of view ‘Meena is ugly.’ Who is right, Who is wrong, Who is honest, Who is dishonest, everything is based on anecdotal data. Having said that, it’s not fixed to define an individual’s measurement of honesty level. Then how one can be truly honest? The correlation between honesty and emotional intelligence. Well…Emotional Intelligence solves this puzzle so easily. People who possess high emotional intelligence levels are quite aware of their value system and they keep refining their belief system to maintain those core values. They are self and socially aware. They observe good values in others and communicate beautifully. If you are offered a cup of tea by your child, and the tea is not according to your taste, using a high emotional quotient you will respond in such a way that you will not hide what you feel and you will express it in such a way that your child will receive it positively. Genuine feedback is always important for growth but if language is too dry that is not honesty and hiding truth and giving wrong inputs is also not honesty. Often people think that if they tell the truth in a forward way that is honest but it may hurt others. Being in that fear they prefer to tell lies. Instead of fear, trust and emotionally intelligent behavior uplift our and others’ core values. Exhibiting honesty is linking with the value system, perceiving others’ feelings, managing self-emotions, and expressing emotions meaningfully to motivate self and others. A good belief system develops a beautiful perception about self and others, that teaches us to see beauty everywhere and to communicate for spreading happiness inside-outside. This is how high emotional intelligence helps a person to not only become an honest person but also understand the meaning of being honest. Simply, if a person can’t be honest with himself then how can that person be honest with others? No one is perfect, it’s ok to learn by correcting mistakes but admitting and correcting mistakes itself is honesty. In one-liner “Emotional Intelligence replaces our perceived and inhabited fears with happiness and values. What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional Intelligence is an ability to understand self and others’ feelings and emotions and use this ability to manage self-emotions to exhibit good behavior. This ability can be refined and uplifted by coaching. One can be coached by self or can be done in partnership with a professional coach. A typical coaching session may comprehend different techniques of NLP, Emotional Intelligence techniques, hypnosis, etc.

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Leadership Skills in the VUCA World for Effective Parenting

Emotional Intelligence, Parenting /

VUCA is an acronym that stands for Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity. It was first used in 1987 and based on the leadership theories of Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus. In early 1990, US Army War college chose it as a response (seeing and reacting in new ways) to the collapse of the USSR. In today’s time, where technology is changing so fast that the whole environment is affected terrifically, it is no longer a case of finding the way or following a standard methodology. Leadership skills highly need to be reinvented and refined to match the frequency of the VUCA world. An increase in volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity means that you need to seek a new orientation to lead your life. In a one-liner, “Thinking and adapting a fresh approach to lead a better life”. Who needs leadership skills? Leadership is an act of leading people or a group. Leading self is known as self-leadership. Often people understand leadership skills need to be acquired by only skilled people or professionals. It’s a myth. Since we all lead our life as well as we lead others too by different roles in their life. So it is not unusual to say ‘We all are leaders.” “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way – John Maxwell” Considering the challenges of the VUCA world, to lead children’s super successful life, every parent needs to be reinvented leadership skills for incorporating them into the parenting style. Your parenting style can affect everything from the thinking, feeling, and behaving of your child. It’s important to ensure your parenting style is supporting healthy growth and development because the way you lead your child and how you discipline him/her will influence him/her for becoming a successful and happy person in life. Traditionally there are four identified parenting styles. Authoritarian Authoritative Permissive Uninvolved “Do exactly what I say”, that’s authoritarian where a child follows a path decided by parents. “You can do whatever you want to do, I am your friend.”, that’s Permissive. “Let’s discuss and decide the rules.” that’s Authoritative, it is the sweet spot between authoritarian and permissive parenting “You do what you want; I really don’t care” that’s Uninvolved parenting. All these approaches are the old styles and in practical life, a parent can’t fit into a single bucket all the time, it needs to keep changing from time to time, the age of the child and the situation. As a child grows, parenting needs to be switched from one bucket to another at a higher frequency. Here leading as a parent needs reinvention. Although there are different ways to reinvent it, one most suitable leadership skill is persuasive influence. Following this leadership style, it becomes easy for a parent to juggle different buckets of parenting styles. Let me explain it with an example. There is one very popular Bollywood movie named ‘3 Idiots’ which is based on Chetan Bhagat’s Novel. In that movie, the main character ‘Rancho’, exhibits persuasive influence and leadership skills. The base is innovation and empathy. Using these two core skills he not only leads his life successfully but helps others to lead their life successfully. If something is explained by giving the demo or digestible proofs then people understand clearly what do you want them to follow. Empathy helps a person to understand and respect others’ thought processes and feelings. Today children have exposure but lack clarity Today’s children have a lot of exposure but clarity is somewhere missing. They follow only those things that they find logically proven. If something doesn’t seem logical to them, they simply refuse to do that. Being a parent applying persuasive influence leadership style makes them understand how to make their children understand the importance of balancing freedom with values to design super success in life. In short, after learning it a parent can ‘hence proved’ to bring a smile of clarity to their child’s face. Learning this leadership style helps parents to gel with traditional parenting styles too by reinventing those with innovative ideas. Today’s VUCA world challenges parenting by giving unpredictable and inexperienced situations but there is a super tool of ‘coaching’ that helps parents to face it in innovative ways to lead to successful outcomes. Persuasive leadership skills can be learned with help of the coaching, which is based on NLP, Hypnosis Emotional Intelligence Techniques, etc.

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